No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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