i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you inspire me to be a worse person
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
