gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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