If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
