A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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