My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i believe in u and ur pee
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
