Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
