the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
