Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
our cab driver is having phone sex.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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