Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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