he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
