The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
