I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
