I can't breathe out the right side of my face
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
