The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
