This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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