never play flip cup with pint glasses
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
