What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
