I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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