guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
