i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
