i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
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