Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
