your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
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