its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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