3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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