Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You pole danced in your parka.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Randomize
