i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
