At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
