The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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