I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
