she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
