U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
