They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
