I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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