my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
