At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
