I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
