Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize