i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
