So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
