so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
