I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I looked at my own cervix.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
