Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I can't turn off my feet"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
