Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
