I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
