I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
