It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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