How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize