OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
