Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
