Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
