it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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