how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
she peed on how many people?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
