hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
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