just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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