Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
