Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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