brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
