I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
