Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
