New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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