i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
