i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
