I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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