Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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