:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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